“A different perspective, I hope”

Hello everyone! It’s me Claudia and if you are new to my blog, welcome!

Today I’d like to talk to you guys about something that I feel very strongly about. Something that seems to really baffle and bug me at the same time. I don’t think it’s something that Is new to anyone, I think we’ve all come across this topic more than once in our lifetimes because it’s something that effects all human beings... It’s this whole issue of body image.

Now before you roll your eyes and click away, I would like to invite you to please hear me out. I know what you are all thinking but let me assure you I am not about to reiterate what you’ve all heard before. Rather, I would like to offer you some perspective. A different perspective, I hope.

Look I get it, we’ve all heard it before. We live in a day and age where the media and advertising dictates our views on the way we perceive our own appearance. High school has a huge impact – particularly on young girls – because teenagers are awfully vain as well as bitchy and judgemental towards each other. It’s human nature to compare ourselves to others and social media has only made it easier for us to be ridiculed. We live in a cruel world blah blah blah.

But it bothers me! It really bothers me how much people self-deprecate. How much people seem to revolve their entire lives around what they look like and at the end of all it, they are just never satisfied. I do a mental face slap whenever I hear girls at school or even in public places like shopping malls, go on about how fat they are or how ugly their faces are. I just think to myself, what are you doing? And let me tell you, a lot of the girls who say these things are usually caked in make-up which I think is absolutely fine but it’s like; well… what was the point? Why go to all that trouble if you “still look ugly”?

So, here’s my perspective. I am in a wheelchair. I was born with a physical disability that very prominently effects my appearance. I have a mouth that doesn’t fully close and eyes that droop down. I also have a slight tilt to the left. Now, there are so so many other things about this disability that effect my life apart from the way I look. Therefore, I do not have the luxury to care about my what people think of my appearence. Obviously, I could name a few things that I don’t particularly like about way I look, I’m not perfect at all. However, a long time ago, I came to the rightful conclusion that those things simply will never change and it’s easier to accept my appearance for what it is.

You could say that body image is not an issue that bothers me much at all. Like I said, I have so many other things to worry about like how to make friends and deal with the stress of school and doctor’s appointments.

So yes, I’m generally happy in my own skin. Despite my flaws, I’ve been able to identify my good qualities and work with what I’ve got. Mind you, it didn’t just happen like that. I’ve had help over the years from loved ones. I’ve been fortunate enough to be surround by good people. People have my best interest at heart and will tell me the truth. People who will constantly remind me how much I am loved and how beautiful I am. And not just the whole of idea of inner beauty. But I mean, the specific things that make me beautiful on the outside as well. Things like; you have gorgeous long eyelashes and a tan that people would pay for, have been ingrained into my head.

So, every day, I wake up and in terms of my appearance, only think about a couple things.

1)    I always wear what I am comfortable in and what I feel like I look good in. I don’t bother with make-up. Mostly because it just seems like too much work and I’m lazy. But I also just think it’s unnecessary unless there’s a special occasion. In my experience, I get complimented on my taste in clothing even though I haven’t actually stuck to a particular trend or thought about what others will think. I really do just wear what I want.     

2)    I try to be a positive and good person. There are times where I will make mistakes, again, I’m not perfect. But for the most part I try to be kind and compassionate towards others. As well as be happy and grateful for everything I have and am, in the hope that this will affect my appearance overall.

I also strongly believe in taking a compliment when it is given. There is nothing more annoying than when you offer somebody an earnest compliment and their response is to either make a self-deprecating joke or to flat out deny it. Just take a god damn compliment and then think about this. If you can believe something that is said about you that is negative, then you should be able to believe something that is positive. Plus, the positive is way more important anyway.

But look, let me bring back a little. I do want to acknowledge a few things. I understand that not everyone has had experiences like mine and is able to accept themselves as I have. I’m not saying that it’s easy. I also think that it’s okay to want to look your best. It’s okay to change your appearance if it will make you feel better about yourself.

It starts to become an issue, it starts to really annoy me when you get to the point of self-deprecation and self-sabotage. Or you start to change who you are as a person to fit a certain model. Or you start to set unrealistic expectations. Or you don’t allow yourself to be loved or admired by others. Because the harsh reality is, when you become so vain that nothing about your appearance will ever make you happy, it makes you ugly!

If you want to wear make-up, wear make-up!

If you want to go on a diet or fitness regime, go on said diet or fitness regime!

If you want to wear tight clothes, wear tight clothes!

If you want to change your hair, change your hair!

If you want to get a boob job by all means, get a boob job!

As long as at the end of the day, (my mum hates that saying btw, lol. Sorry mum) you I are pleased with how you turned out. As long as you are happy with your appearance, you accept praise when it is given to you and above all, you remain a good person!

And by the way, (I’m sure you should already know this as well but) you only do any of these things for yourself not for anyone else. It does not matter what others think if you are happy in your own body!

Okay so I’ll admit that maybe I’ve said a few things you’ve heard before. But obviously, they’re important and people don’t hear it enough, otherwise I wouldn’t have bothered.

My final point I’d like to make is that insecurity about what we look like, our appearance and body image is detrimental and it can ruin lives. People spend all their time and energy worrying about their small imperfections instead of focusing on their good traits and then enjoying the wonderful things that life has to offer.

But this is something people have control over because it’s a mindset that they have. They can choose the mindset of not letting their insecurities get the better of them and just be grateful for what they have because as I know all too well, there are worse things in life than our own little imperfections in our appearance.

Oh and you all know that saying. Something like everybody is different and there's only one you. So embrace it! Embrace that beautiful awesome you! And believe in your own beauty! That's what I always say. 

Hopefully I’ve said everything I needed to in a way that makes sense. I don’t want to pretend to be this self-proclaimed self-help guru coming from some high and righteous place, telling you how to live your life. I’m only suggesting you change your perspective.

My hope is that somehow, I can spread this message and encourage more people be less harsh on themselves and appreciate everything that makes them beautiful. The world is full of beautiful people. And yet so many haven’t even opened their eyes to recognise their own beauty.

Have a lovely day! Xx

P.s: I would really love to hear what you think of this blog in the comments below and be sure to subscribe for more. Also, it would be much appreciated if you could share this with your friends and family to help me spread my message!