“Writing to write about writing”

I’m a pretty honest person, so I’m just gonna come out with it. I’ve had a bit of crappy week - writing and otherwise. I had a bit of the flu on Tuesday so that wasn’t great. But also I’ve just felt really uninspired and overall…. down. No reason in particular, it just happens I guess. You know those grey days, except mine lasted more than just a day. Its Friday night so normally I would have dancing but I’ve decided I need a break…. I know, from dancing? Yeah. I’m just feeling that crappy. But I decided that I really wanted to write one last post this week because I told myself that I’d post three times a week and I didn’t post last night (when I usually do). So here I am, in my Cheshire Cat onesie with a cuppa tea and a little something to share.

I actually started writing this on Monday but once I started, I realised I had no clue where I was going with it. I was certainly in a much better mood but I really did have “no point and no structure”. Now that I’ve had some time to reflect about it, I think I’ve taught myself a little lesson.

I have no point and no structure for what I am about to say. I only have inspiration and a sense of enlightenment as I unveil something that gives me great pleasure. I’m writing to write about writing! It is the second thing I’ve found that gives me happiness after dancing. My Mum said once that if It weren’t for the un-fulfilled dream to become a dancer, I would not have discovered my love for writing. This is true. When you are unable to do even what you love, life forces you to find a new love. To use your talents in a different way. I was lucky to find writing.

For me writing is something that came naturally because I already had a voice. I already had a lot to say. The only problem is my brain seems to run faster than my motor skills. (Though over time I guess my fingers have become accustomed to using the keyboard). At first writing was to tell the story I couldn’t live; stories about ballerinas and even princesses. As a little girl, I very much enjoyed writing about the fantasy world; fairies, unicorns and dragons. As I got older I guess I found writing to be a way of telling the story I do live. I use writing to escape this world and live another life. I use it to explain what I couldn’t normally say with my own voice. I try to inspire others, to give others a voice but most importantly I write for myself; to make me feel happy. It gives me a sense of purpose and I guess writing and dancing are very similar. I use them both essentially, to tell a story.

Yesterday I started and finished this fantastic book called “Letters to a young writer” written by Colum McCann. It’s what inspired me to write this right now. It’s a brilliant little book! Mr McCann not only gave me advice, but he helped me rediscover what I already knew about myself as a writer and what I hoped to achieve with my writing. He opened my eyes up to new possibilities and made me ask questions about my writing that I never thought to ask myself. He reassured some of my fears (like worrying if I’m taking too long to get my first book published) and taught me to challenge myself, to look at things from a different perspective. When I first looked at the book my dad had bought me, I wondered how someone could possibly teach another how to write… well, fiction anyway? It’s an art form, isn’t it? And then I read the first line of the introduction:

‘Nobody can advise you and help you, nobody’ – writes Rilke in Letters to a young poet.

Well, I was right! There are no rules when it comes to writing and I guess I quite like that. But the short letter type insights that Mr McCann offered were not on how to write, but rather what to think about when we go to write, what to consider. Even how to conduct ourselves and commit to the art-form. Without spoiling too much, it a good book and I would recommend it to any writer….young or old.

As you know this week I published pt. 2 of Mrs Costa Corner Shop. Honestly, I realised I wasn’t proud of. I mean I like the idea, but I’m not proud with how I wrote it (first chapter included). And I know where my problem lies. I didn’t give myself enough time to go over the chapters and refine them a little. That’s part of where this ‘slump’ came from. Haven’t been happy since I posted it. So, in saying this, I’ve decided to stop publishing further chapters and just take some time to work on them a little more. This way I don’t have the pressure of having to upload them every week and I can be proud of them when I finally do….In the meantime, I am definitely going to change the name of this story because I hate it! It sounds like a children’s book.

You see, something that Mr McCann talked about in his book is that every writer is going to fail. Fail, fail, and fail again. The point is not to get too hooked up on it (which is kind of what I did). To just keep going and to keep revising your work. I guess it’s all part of honing your craft. He includes this great quote that I think really sums it up.

“No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better” – Samuel Beckett

He also talks about the moment when feels as if they cannot get any words onto paper. Though I don’t think he believes in the term ‘writers block’, he tells us to not let the “terror of the white page shrink wrap your mind”. In other words, you need to work at it because the words do not appear if you’re not there putting in the time. Though if that really doesn’t work its always important to take a break, go away for a while, do something different, and then come back to it with a fresh pair of eyes. This guess this weekend that’s what I’ll be doing. Need to rest and repair and probably get some homework done too. And then next week I will be back hopefully with some news and fresh ideas!

Yes, I’m feeling better already!

Have a lovely day! xx